Pre-K to Grade 3 Parenting Education and Family Engagement

It is normal to want to help when you see your child struggle trying to accomplish something. You may find yourself wanting to alleviate that stress and complete the task for your child.

However, this adds more stress on yourself and your child misses out on a learning opportunity. Teach your child to embrace the struggle. Here are some strategies to empower your child to continue to work through the struggle.

• Validate your child’s feelings.
  • Ask your child what you can do to offer support.
• Guide your child to the answer, instead of providing the answer.
  • Ask open-ended questions. For example, “What do you think might happen if we try this?” Use the 5 W’s: Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How.
  • Shift your child’s attention to where the answer or strategy is located. For example, “Let’s reread the last paragraph and see if the answer is there.”
  • If your child is still struggling, provide the answer but make sure to explain your thinking and how you came up with the answer.
• Boost your child’s confidence by assigning age-appropriate tasks to set your child up for success.
• Remind your child of past struggles. How long did it take before reaching success? Did it take one time or multiple times?
• Focus on the positive. Ask how it felt after your child persevered through a previous struggle?
• Acknowledge how your child is feeling after accomplishing success. Join in on the celebration!
• Always encourage the process that is being learned versus the outcome of getting the correct answer.

Download PDF

As children grow, they show many changes in their abilities and behavior. Here is what you can expect during the transition to school, ages 5 to 6.5 yrs.

• Language - At this age, children have a good grasp of language.
  They understand what you are telling them, and can communicate thoughts, feelings, and desires.
  
• Friendships - This is a time of friendships, when they enjoy being with other children.
• Consequences - Children this age understand the results of their actions and behavior, but still view the world with themselves at the center, so they may take things that don't belong to them, act defiant or rude, and not admit that they did something wrong.

How to Handle Challenging Behavior: Be firm yet kind. Criticizing will often make the behavior worse. When your child refuses to do something or acts defiant, give him another chance. For example, say, "Iasked you to get your shoes on. Maybe you didn’t hear me. Let’s see how fast you can do it." It may be necessary to re-examine rules. If you seem to have conflict over and over about an issue, ask yourself if the rule is still reasonable.

Discipline Methods: Discipline methods that work for younger school-age children include natural
and logical consequences, loss of privilege and restitution (making something right).

• Natural and Logical Consequences - If a child insists on wearing a winter coat in the middle of the summer, let him experience getting hot. If she refuses to pick up her toys, warn her they will
  be taken away for a day and then follow through.
  
• Loss of Privilege and Restitution - If your child behaves badly at a friend's house, don't allow him to play with that friend for a certain period of time. Expect your child to make restitution. If
  he breaks a friend's toy, he must fix it or replace it and be accountable for his behavior.
  

Download PDF

Practicing math skills can be fun and easy for children. There are many things in your home that will encourage children to love Math and, at the same time, improve basic math skills.

Bath Time

• Ask your child how you might measure the water in the bathtub.
• Allow them to play with plastic gallon jugs, cups, liters, and measuring spoons.
• Use foam numbers that stick to the wall when wet.

In the Kitchen

• Have your child help put away groceries. They will be working on sorting skills by sorting the groceries
  into different categories and putting them in their place.
  
• Have your child compare items by weight and amount.
• Make cookies! It is an excellent way to develop an understanding of measurement.
• Have your child spread shaving cream on a mat on the table. He or she can practice writing numbers.

In the Living Room

• Teach your child to recognize different times of the day on a clock.
• Have your child find and identify all the shapes he or she can find in the living room.
• Play card games. There are many math concepts in card games such as War, Solitaire, and Kings Corner.
• Makeup math songs and sing them with your child. Almost any song can be a math song.
• Read aloud books with math concepts included such as:
  • Ten Black Dots by Donald Crews
  • Hidden Figures by Winifred Conkling
  • Measuring Penny by Loreen Leedy

Other spaces

• Have your child help sort the laundry. Practice counting by 2’s when sorting all the socks!
• Count various household objects like silverware, toys, or even cars driving by.
• Create maps of your home. This is a great activity to do when creating your fire emergency plan.

Download PDF

According to the CDC, going outside can improve your overall health and wellness. Fresh air and sunshine give our bodies Vitamin D, helps elevate our moods, increases our likeliness of physical activity, and can help with concentration. However, sometimes making plans to do activities outdoors can feel overwhelming.

Here is a list of some activities to enjoy while having quality time with your family.

• Go on a nature scavenger hunt.
• Build sandcastles.
• Do some stargazing.
• Paint with water. The best part is, no clean-up! Once it dries, you can paint something new!
• Make leaf prints.
  • Put a leaf on the ground. Put a piece of paper on top of the leaf and rub a crayon over it.
• Have a picnic.
• Gaze at the clouds. Try and see if you can see a shape!
• Play nature tic tac toe.
  • Find 5 of the same object to represent X’s and 5 objects to represent O’s. For example, 5 rocks and 5 leaves.
• Grow a garden. Observe and chart the growth of your plant.
• After a rainy day, make a splash!
  • Put some rain boots on, find some puddles and see who can make the biggest splash.
• Do some yoga in a garden.
• Start a rock collection.
• Pick up trash at a nearby park.
• Have a bicycle/toy wash.
• Watch a sunset.

Download PDF

What is positive attention?

• Smiling at your child.
• Making eye contact and using caring facial expressions.
• Being physically gentle and caring with your child.
• Using words to celebrate and encourage your child.
• Showing interest in your child’s interests, activities and achievements.

Why is positive attention important?

• Children need experiences and relationships that show them they’re valued, capable human beings who bring pleasure to others. Positive attention helps children know how valued they are.
• Your child’s self-image builds up over time with positive, loving messages from you and other important people in his life. A healthy self-image is very important, not only for your child’s
  relationship with others, but also for his confidence.
  
• Your child’s feelings of security and safety come from her interactions with you and the other people who care for her. If you reassure and support your child when she’s frightened, uncertain or faced with a new or unfamiliar situation, she’ll feel safe.
• All children do best in an environment where they’re supported, encouraged and enjoyed. They grow and develop through repeated, positive interactions in their first relationships.

How to show positive attention for all ages?

• Look at your child and smile at her.
• Show interest in what your child is doing – ask him to tell you about it if he can.
• Pay attention and listen closely when your child talks to you.
• Make up some special rituals you can share together.

Download PDF

Small items that promote fine motor skills: Pretty much any
small item is great for fine motor skills. You definitely need to keep a watch on younger toddlers, or kids that like to mouth items when working with small items. But just the act of grasping the small items is great for their little fingers.

• Cereal: Make a craft with them.
• Pipe cleaner pieces: Push them into a spice container.
• Pom-poms or cotton balls: Just pick them up! Or push
  them into a small container.
  
• Small containers to put things in: A number of objects
  can be used to push into it, including pom-poms or
  ribbons.
  
  
• Buttons: Make something out of them, or sort them by
  size or color.
  
• Stickers: Create a scene with stickers. The act of removing the sticker is huge!
• Toothpicks: Poke foam with it or use it to build structures.
• Marshmallows or raisins: Use with toothpicks to build structures, paint with them, or make a craft with them.

Objects that build hand strength: Items that help with hand strength, that require them to actually use their hand muscles in order to operate it.

• Kitchen tongs: Pick up stuff around the house with them.
• Eye droppers: Add them to a water activity or a science experiment.
• Syringes: Also add these to water activities! Kids love them.
• Playdough: Just let them play with it. The more they manipulate it, the more it strengthens.
• Rubber-bands: Wrap objects with a bunch of them or make a geoboard.
• Hole punch: Just punch holes in paper (kids will love that!) or include it in crafts.
• Clothespins: Include them in all kinds of activities. Have the kids hang stuff up, like on a clothesline!
• Tweezers: Again, use these to pick up small objects! These are smaller so it takes more coordination, but they’re easier to actually squeeze.

Download PDF

When you set limits for your children, you demonstrate your love and concern. Setting limits tells a child, “I care about you, I want you to be safe. I want you to act responsibly so that you will learn to get along happily with others.”

What limits should I set?

Carefully select the limits you think are necessary and, as much as possible, consider the child's point of view. The limits set should

• Protect children from physical harm
• Protect property
• Protect children and others from psychological harm

Limit your limits

Before you set a limit, ask yourself: “Is this rule really important? Am I willing to deal with the conflicts that will occur if my child disregards the limit?” Your rules should reflect your deeply held convictions or values, ones that you are committed to keeping. Parents who set too many rules can overwhelm their children with too many demands. You are more likely to be effective if you focus on those rules you believe are most important.

Set reasonable limits

You also need to consider whether your children are able to do what is expected of them. It is not reasonable, for example, to demand that toddlers keep their rooms clean or to expect boisterous 10-year-olds to always remember their mealtime manners. Forbidding a child to wet the bed during the night is unreasonable at any age because children have no control over their bladders while they sleep. Denying a child the right to experience emotions such as anger and fear may be unreasonable because these feelings are often natural, healthy responses to difficult situations. You can judge whether a limit is unreasonable by observing the way your children act. They may try their best but still fail, or they may show no sign of being able to perform the task. With this in mind, set limits so your children can succeed. Then gradually raise your expectations so they can continue to be successful.

Be clear and positive

State your limits clearly and simply. A clear limit tells a child exactly what is expected and when. If you tell your grade-schooler: “Every night, right after supper, you are to take the garbage, put it in the trash can outside, and make sure the lid is closed,” your child knows exactly what to do. In contrast, saying “Clean up everything after supper” is vague. Your child may not know exactly what is expected. Limits will also be more effective if they emphasize the possible — if they tell a child what to do rather than what not to do. To give your child a better understanding of what is allowed as well as what the limits are, say “Play in the yard, not in the street” instead of just saying “Don't go in the street.”

When children become angry and act destructively, parents are likely to think first of negative limits:

“Don't talk to me like that!” “Don't hit your brother!” “Don't throw things!” But children also need positive limits to help them deal with their emotions. Besides the “don'ts,” a parent might also say, “When you get angry, tell me how you feel — say you're angry!” This shows a child another way of handling anger.

Be consistent

Limits must be consistently applied and enforced. Children are more likely to respect limits when they realize their parents mean what they say. If you expect your children to wash their hands before meals, you must maintain this limit every day. If you tell your children not to play in a neighbor's yard, it must be clear that this limit applies every time they are outside. However, limits can, and should, be revised if circumstances change. Consistent limits are dependable. They provide security and direction for children. A child's respect for parents and for authority, in general, is likely to diminish if parents keep changing the rules and are inconsistent in enforcing limits. Once a limit is set, the child should know clearly when it applies.

Let children help set limits

The ultimate goal in setting limits is to help children develop self-control and self-direction. You can show confidence in your children's abilities by talking with them about problems and by encouraging them to suggest guidelines for their own behavior. By involving your children in setting limits, you are more likely to gain their cooperation in following the rule. Letting children help set their own limits also provides them with experience and practice in decision-making.

Download PDF

• Commit to caring for yourself. Take responsibility to develop your own unique talents, skills, and mind.

• Maintain your health so you can enjoy your child in the future.

• Create time instead of expecting to find the time. Decide what is important and make time for these things.

• Take control of your time. Be intentional about what you do with your time and use it well.

• Find humor every day. Laughter and humor lighten your mood and attitude.

• Say “No.” Don’t waste your time doing things that you don’t want to be doing.

• Evaluate why you do what you do. Is it because it’s important or does someone else expect it?

• Play – Dream – Enjoy life! Make a list of things you have always wanted to do.

• Find your own special place that you can dream and be nurtured, even if it is only in your imagination. Go there often!

• Start each day with a positive attitude and affirm yourself for what you are doing well.

• Get away from your work, whether it’s at home or away from home. You don’t have to get everything done today – it will be waiting for you tomorrow!

Download PDF

Teaching about digital citizenship is teaching your child how to interact within the online world. These skills will help your child be more successful in navigating through a high-paced digital world. Below are ways to teach your child about digital citizenship:

• Discuss the importance of not sharing passwords or personal information with anyone online.

• Manage your child’s downloaded applications. Check the privacy settings. Pay attention to location sharing, in-app purchases and who can view the posts.

• Discuss how your child should not talk to strangers with anyone online. If your child has not met that person face to face, then that person is a stranger.

• Help your child understand the consequences of putting things online. Once something is uploaded, it stays online forever. It can leave a permanent digital footprint, even if deleted.

• Explain the importance of treating others online with respect and kindness, as if that person was standing right next to your child.

• Encourage your child to be upstanding. Don’t stir up trouble, be a force of good. Peers sticking up for other peers is the best defense against cyberbullying.

• If your child is going to share someone else’s work, make sure the information being shared is accurate and that your child knows how to cite where that information came from.

• Create a technology safety plan (like a fire safety plan). Who will your child go to when something makes him/her feel sad, scared or uncomfortable? What should your child do in that moment?

• Monitor your child’s media use. It's OK to check, but it’s best to let your child know that you will be doing this. Always make sure to follow up with a chat about what you find -- or don't find. If your child makes a mistake, discuss better choices moving forward. The goal is to help your child make good choices on their own.

Download PDF

Start young. Handing out responsibility to kids needs to start early.

Let them help you. Don't grumble and mope when it's time to do housework. Smile and invite your son to help. It's teamwork, precious time with your child and a lesson that will one day send him off into the world with the ability to care for himself!

Show kids the way. Play to a child's skill level. First, you can demonstrate how to complete small
tasks. If your son wants a snack, show him where the apples are and how to wash one off.

Model responsibility and talk about it. Banish a tableful of dirty breakfast dishes with the line: "Now we put our plate in the sink," as the meal ends. Use the same inclusive "we" phrases over
and over to show how you can easily solve problems.

Praise them. Kids love to help. They want to help. To them, chores don't feel like work. Keep up positive vibes by offering specific praises for actions.

Manage your expectations. When you ask a five-year-old to make her bed, it may still be lopsided. Don't criticize. Recognize a job well done. The next time you make your own bed, show her how
you do it.

Avoid rewards. Don't assume a reward system has to be in place for your child to learn responsibility. While a reward chart can be effective for some kids, others respond just as well to praise, spending
time with you and feeling the boost in their self-confidence.

Provide structure and routine. Kids thrive on order. Instead of offering rewards to get them to meet responsibilities, set up a morning routine with a positive end result. Your son must brush his teeth, eat
breakfast and get dressed before watching TV.

Teach consequences. Learning to take care of his things also helps a child develop a sense of responsibility for his actions. To get your son to clean up after an art project, inform him that he won't be able to play with his crayons and scissors until the next day if he leaves a messy table. Then you need to follow through.

Download PDF

Tips for Teaching Self Control

Self-control skills develop over years, with the biggest changes occurring between the ages of 3 and 7. The lack of skills can impact academics, behavior, and relationships with others. Lack of self-control is also linked to obesity, anxiety, and drug use. Just as you teach your child to wash their face or tie their shoes, you must teach your child self-control skills and give them opportunities to practice and correct their skills.

• Create an environment that limits temptations and chances to misbehave.  

• Give your child opportunities to wait.  Waiting is hard!  Recognize and reward patience.

• Give reminders. When going to an event or place, remind your child of your family rules. 

• Play games.  Board games give opportunities to share and take turns.  Red light, green light or doing the freeze dance teaches stop and start skills.

• Plan breaks and downtime.  It’s okay to let your child be bored! 

• Give opportunities for pretend play.  Pretending gives your child’s brain new rules to understand when they’re role playing.

• Limit screen time!  Try to increase your child’s attention span by reading books, focusing on imaginative play, or getting outside.

• Coach your child through emotions. Name or ask your child how they’re feeling, remind them it’s okay to have all feelings and help them develop coping strategies like taking a break, positive self-talk, and taking deep breaths.

• Practice planning with your child.  Play the “what if” game and coach your child through different situations that may happen throughout their day.   

• Check yourself. Children will follow your lead.  If you let them get away with behaviors, those behaviors will continue. If you give in, your child will push you further next time until they get their way. If you punish, your child may try to sneak behind your back. 

Be consistent. When your child knows what to expect, how you will respond, and are coached through emotions, they will be more willing to cooperate with you. Keep their routines similar each day, make sure they’re fed and get plenty of sleep and outside time each day to regulate their bodies as well. 

Download PDF

Research demonstrates that children who get more sleep:
    • Have higher grade averages
    • Perform better in reasoning and mathematical skills
    • Have higher reading scores
    • Experience fewer accidents
    • Get along with others better
    • Focus better
    • Get sick less frequently
    • Are less likely to be overweight

How much sleep do children need?
    • Children 5-6 years old: 11-12 hours
    • Children 7-11 years old: 10-11 hours
    • Adults: 8.5 hours

Model Schedule
    • Children thrive when they are getting the sleep they need every day.
    • The more consistent the schedule, the easier slipping into sleep.
    • Try to maintain the same schedule seven days a week.

Tips for Bedtime
    • Have a predictable routine each night (snack, teeth, toileting, pajamas, one book, song, story or back rub).
    • Bedtime should be able the same time seven days a week (no more than an hour different on the weekends).
    • If a child’s bath excites him/her, avoid bathing at bedtime.
    • Do not have a TV or computer in the bedroom.
    • Limit screen time (TV, video games, computer) to 30-60 minutes a day. Do not allow screen time in the evening before bed.
    • Take time to connect at bedtime. A calm child falls asleep more easily and stays asleep.

Download PDF