Child Care Collaborative

1. Arrange your play areas to provide a wide range of choices. Young children need a variety of things to do, and they learn from each activity.
2. Provide some play areas that are specifically for an age group. For example, you may want to have a room or special corner that is used only by school-agers for craft projects, to do homework, or play board games.
3. Consider the ages of children when you store materials. Store materials where children can reach them. Storing toys at a child’s eye level or within easy reach fosters independence and helps children get them and return them easily during cleanup.
4. Provide materials that can be used in different ways. Blocks, play-dough, or scarves are “open-ended” play materials because there is no right or wrong way to play with them. Children of different ages use them in different ways to explore, build, create, and learn.
5. Become comfortable with the fact that very young children, like infants and toddlers, do not always have to “do” an activity. Many providers worry about what to do with an infant or young toddler when they are helping preschoolers with a special project. Infants and toddlers learn by observing, touching, smelling, hearing, and tasting.  Providers have several options:
   • They can choose to do some activities with preschoolers when the younger children are taking their morning naps.
   • They can place a low barrier around the activity area so that younger children can
     watch and learn but not disrupt the activity.
     
   • They can find a way for the younger children to join the activity.
   • They can let young observers touch, hear, or taste the end result after the older children are finished.
6. Limit the length of large group activities. Infants and toddlers are generally disruptive to group time because they are easily distracted and can’t sit still for very long. Keep it short and simple. For example: gathering songs, going over the daily schedule, and concluding with a music and movement activity.
7. Focus on experience-related activities rather than product-related activities. Avoid craft activities that children do by following a set of steps, however simple they may be. Focus instead of doing something that is more individualistic as children can interpret it according to their skills and interests. For instance, try providing a paper sack to decorate with an assortment of crayons, stickers, markers, fabric scraps, and magazine pictures.
8. Teach children self-help skills and encourage children to help each other. Children love to help. Washing dishes is real-life water play. Setting the table or putting away silverware is a valuable sorting experience. Children can also help out by helping a little one wash his hands, clean up a spill, or “read” to someone else.

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Source: Oesterreich, M.S. Caring for Multi-age Groups.
Retrieved from: http://www.providerschoice.com/pages/resources/articles/view_article.asp?id=450

Your child is not born with the skills to regulate behavior. These skills need to be taught. Like adults, your child may react to stress, frustration, and disappointment by becoming angry,
shouting, refusing help, or engaging in other challenging behaviors.

A calm-down area (sometimes called a cozy corner) provides a dedicated place for your child to take a break and calm down. This area can be used when your child is feeling anxious,
stressed, or overwhelmed. A calm-down area gives your child a place to let go of strong emotions and begin to feel calm and ready to engage with others again.

Getting Started

• The calm-down area should be quiet, out of the way, and soothing for your child. It does not need to be a large area. It can be a special chair, or a cozy blanket in a corner. Use things that your child already uses to calm down, like stuffed animals, squishy toys, books, or a favorite pillow.
• Explain to your child that this area is not used as a punishment. Show your child how to use the space when to “feel better.” You can also demonstrate some calming strategies, such as deep breathing, lying on the couch, or blowing bubbles.
• Encourage your child to explore the items in the calm-down area. This will help your child figure out what items help calm and soothe him or her the best and how to use each item appropriately.
• Guide or remind your child whenever necessary. “You are yelling and throwing things. You seem really angry. I am going to help you go to your calm down spot so you can feel better.”

Tips for Using

• Don’t send your child to the calming area as a “time out,” or punishment. The calm-down area should always be presented as a place to go to “feel better”.
• Help your child use this area before the meltdown or tantrum occurs. When you see signs of stress or escalating behavior, remind your child of this option.
• Limit distractions. Help siblings and family members understand that this is a private area, and interactions should be avoided.
• Check-in when your child becomes calm. Notice how it went and give positive feedback. “I noticed you reading a book in the calm down corner. It looks like reading a book helped you feel better.”
• During the check-in, talk about emotions. Help your child identify how he or she was feeling before and after using the calm-down area.

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Source: ChallengingBehavior.org. Taking a Break: Using a Calm Down Area at Home
Retrieved from: https://challengingbehavior.cbcs.usf.edu/docs/Calm-Down-Area_Tipsheet.pdf

Remember that the behavior is normal. Although some kids never experience separation anxiety, for most, separation anxiety typically emerges around 9 to 12 months, and sometimes as early as 6 months, and can come and go through a child’s early years. After babyhood, bouts of separation anxiety tend to crop up in the presence of other life stressors, such as moving, travel, divorce, or a new caregiver or classroom.

Time your departure strategically. If possible, time your departure with a fun distraction for your child. We have found departures to be easier when we leave in time for the sitter to break out a new toy or offer a fun snack or fruit dessert we have prepared.

Allocate extra time. Whether during daycare drop-off or once the sitter arrives at your home, prepare to spend a little more time helping your child get engaged in an activity before you leave.

Talk it out. As you prepare to leave, tell your child, for example, that you will be back after their fun day of playing with friends, doing art activities, reading books, and eating snacks. These reminders can help get kids excited about being at school.

Keep departures brief. Parents often want to run back and offer consolation when their child cries, but every time you do this you train your child to keep crying so you come back. It’s easiest for everyone if you keep your goodbyes short and sweet. Children typically recover soon after you leave.

Get your game face on. Your child is well attuned to your emotions. If you exude calm and confidence, they will feel more trusting of their caregiver, whereas if you look anxious and worried, they will mirror your emotions. Say your goodbyes with a confident smile and wave to help your child get off to a better start.

Don't ask if it’s ok to leave. Remember that you are in charge. Do not ask permission to leave; your child will likely say no!

Do not sneak out. Resist the urge to sneak out to avoid a painful separation. Sneaking out will only cause your child confusion when they turn around and discover that you are gone, and repeated sneak-outs will erode their trust.

Use a transitional object. Transition objects can be very helpful for kids experiencing separation anxiety. Younger kids often find comfort in a favorite blankie or stuffed animal. Older kids may find it comforting to keep a small reminder of mom or dad in their pocket, such as an inexpensive pendant or a small smooth stone.

Caregiver consistency. Kids like consistency, so whenever possible, try to book the same sitter, or opt for a family member or teacher from the daycare. This will also help you feel more comfortable leaving. If you are confident in the way the caregiver distracts and handles the separation anxiety, you'll feel more comfortable leaving.

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Source: Koh, Christine. Child Care Challenges: Separation Anxiety
Retrieved from: https://www.care.com/c/stories/5167/child-care-challenges-separation-anxiety

Here are some helpful tips to teach your children how to cope with anger:

1. DO recognize and acknowledge your child’s feelings. If you validate your child’s feelings, then your child doesn’t need to defend those feelings and is less likely to respond in anger. Acknowledging feelings causes your child’s anger to soften and
   leaves a safe space in which he or she can learn empathy and coping skills.
2. DO practice empathy. By listening to your child’s feelings without interruption or defense, you create space for your child’s anger to dissipate, as they no longer need to use up energy defending the fairness of their position. The consistency of your open reception to your child’s anger teaches him or her to react less emotionally and more critically.
3. DO teach your children problem-solving skills. Neurological tracking occurs when children creatively problem-solve. The more children practice and rehearse problem-solving rather than emotional reacting, the more their neurological pathways assist them in controlling their impulses.
4. DO establish clear standards for acceptable and unacceptable behavior. This means that though we want to validate all our child is feeling, allowing those emotions does not translate into the acceptance of bad behavior. There are common rules of engagement which include: no hitting, throwing, breaking objects or disrespect.
5. DO teach your child relaxation methods. By teaching children progressive relaxation,
   breathing techniques and other self-managing tools for stress, they can calm themselves down when confronted with anger.
6. DO try a “time in” instead of a “time out.” As the parent, you are your child’s main guide in life, and as their guide, they rely on you to be there with them through their emotional experience, whatever that may be. Therefore, no time out, no isolation. Instead, try a “time in” — sit with your child and incorporate other methods mentioned in this post: work on breathing with them, ask them questions about their feelings.
7. DO teach your children to recognize anger cues. If children can self-monitor, they can self-manage. By recognizing the feelings that accompany anger, children can recognize the onset of those emotions. This gives them time in which to self-manage before they are caught in the chaos of emotion.
8. DO teach your children how to bring their feelings to consciousness. By recognizing the emotions that drive their behavior, children can learn to skillfully manage that behavior. Writing, drawing, and painting are wonderful ways to express the issues that are bothering children, especially if they have trouble verbalizing their emotions.
9. DO invest your child in the process of managing their anger. Ask your children to give you some tips on how they could positively manage their emotions. Make a list of five actions they can take — such as breathing deeply for one minute or drawing a picture — and leave the list somewhere your child can see it, such as his or her bedroom door or on your refrigerator door.
10. DO bond with your child. A well-bonded child can learn to cope and manage his or her emotions, to problem-solve, to process, and to stick with a problem until it is resolved. They are also more adventuresome and will creatively explore different options as solutions to problems. The well-bonded child feels like he or she can depend on parents.

In the end, remember that you, as the parent, make all the difference. By following these tips,
you can help strengthen your relationship.

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Source: Dr. Gross, Gail
Retrieved from: www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-gail-gross/dos-and-donts-of-teaching-your-child-to-cope-with-anger_b_3202744.html